How to spice up a long-term relationship or marriage

Studies on relationships have shown that couples satisfaction with each other depends on several factors including thinking positively about each other, keeping each other in mind when they are apart, acting affectionately towards each other with love, and sharing new challenging activities. However, studies also explain that it is normal for couples in a long-term relationship to go through periods of less intimacy due to decline in love and satisfaction from each other. It is important for the couple to put in some efforts in trying to sustain their long term relationship even during those periods of less intimacy. The following are some of the ways to spice up a long-term relationship or marriage:

1. Try out new exciting activities together

Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over expecting new results. The saying can be applied to a marriage or relationship that is going through a period of less intimacy. It is advisable for the couple to try out new and exhilarating activities such as skydiving, going for a weekend trip, or even sending each other couple’s messages. There are a lot of activities out there that one can try to bring back the excitement in their marriages. A couple can work to get ideas from the things they used to do for fun at the beginning of the relationship.

2. A couple should try to challenge each other

The couple should try to overcome the level of familiarity with each other by bringing back the feeling of seeing each other for the first time. Studies have shown that couple who spend time trying to overcome difficult tasks together that challenge their skills and know-how feel closer to each other than a couple which just spends time together. The challenge makes the couple be attracted to each other by incorporating each one’s skill into their own. Such challenges give couples the opportunity to work together as a team and force them to develop new ways of communicating with each other. Couples can decide to train together to win a zombie race or enter a salsa dance together.

3. A couple should try to take breaks

Sometimes it may force two people in a long-term relationship to take a break from each other to bring the spark back to their marriage. During the break, they can decide to go on separate vacations to avoid interruptions from each other. Interruption avoidance can be a useful technique when it comes to reviving a boring relationship. The break disrupts the expected pattern of the couple’s dull routine. The process resets expectations making things to be more intense between the partners.

4. Design a couple’s “Bucket List.”

The partners can work together to create a list of activities they wish to carry out together. Such exciting activities may include preparing dinner together, going out to a café or a bookstore, or even to collect farm produce from a nearby farm. The couple should then select at least three items from the bucket list and fulfill them in the next three months.

5. Put sex on the schedule

Simultaneous orgasms have been proven to be one of the perfect ways of maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. A couple should come up with a plan for doing sex and stick to it without failure. Couples can also sex while they are apart from each other by creating private email accounts to communicate only intimate messages. Other non-sexual touches such as a hug, massages, and arm slipped round a waist can work wonders in trying to bring back a spark into a fading relationship. If things go out of control men can satisfy themselves with sexual toys made especially for them and women can use the old fashioned dildo 🙂

6. The couple should learn to communicate about each other’s needs

Communication is crucial in a relationship that is affected by quarrels and fights between the partners. Failure of meeting each other’s needs in a marriage can become a source of other issues such as infidelity. The couple should learn to be open to each other about their needs whether it is emotional support or the need to split the house bills.

7. Avoid distractions

Many distractions may affect a working relationship or marriage. Couples need to ditch their smartphones and computers and start giving each other an undivided attention. Go deep into your conversations without a hurry of finishing it fast to embark in other tasks. Partners in a relationship should genuinely show that they are interested in talking and listening to each other. An eye contact could be just enough to bring back into life a boring relationship.

My new blog

My name is Rebeca Becker. I am a professional relationship therapist living in Virginia Beach. By popular demand I will start blogging and do Q&A sessions for my readers. In this day and age when the distance between men and women increases everyday it is getting harder and harder to understand each other and as a result many problem occur. I will provide tons of articles here and also many suggestions and personal thoughts which will definetely  save a marriage or two.

Those with a sense of humour will hopefully get this video 🙂